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FAQ: Alan Connor -- Usenet Beavis

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Posted by Usenet Beavis on October 17, 2006, 1:41 am

FAQ: Canonical list of questions Beavis refuses to answer (V2.10)

This is a canonical list of questions that Beavis never answers. This FAQ is
posted on a semi-regular schedule, as circumstances warrant.

For more information on Beavis, see:


Although Beavis has been posting for a long time, he always remains silent
on the subjects enumerated below.  His response, if any, usually consists of
replying to the parent post with a loud proclamation that his Usenet-reading
software runs a magical filter that automatically identifies anyone who's
making fun of him, and hides those offensive posts.  For more information
see question #9 below.


1) Why are you afraid of posting to alt.usenet.kooks, or

2) If your Challenge-Response spam filter works so well, why are you munging
your address, when posting to Usenet?

3) If spammers avoid forging real E-mail addresses on spam, then where do
all these bounces everyone reports getting (for spam with their return
address was forged onto) come from?

4) If your Challenge-Response filter is so great, why don't you use it?
(http://tinyurl.com/rvvsd )

5) Do you still believe that rsh is the best solution for remote access?
(http://tinyurl.com/5qqb6 )

6) What is your evidence that everyone who disagrees with you, and thinks
that you're a moron, is a spammer?

7) What is your evidence that everyone who disagrees with you, and thinks
that you're a moron, is a "troll"?

8) How many different individuals do you believe really post to Usenet? What
is the evidence for your paranoid belief that everyone, except you, who
posts here is some unknown arch-nemesis of yours?

9) How many times, or how often, do you believe is necessary to announce
that you do not read someone's posts?  What is your reason for making these
regularly-scheduled proclamations?  Who do you believe is so interested in
keeping track of your Usenet-reading habits?

10) When was the last time you saw Bigfoot (http://tinyurl.com/23r3f )?

11) If your C-R system employs a spam filter so that it won't challenge
spam, then why does any of the mail that passes the filter, and is thusly
presumed not to be spam, need to be challenged?

12) You claim that the software you use to read Usenet magically identifies
any post that makes fun of you.  In http://tinyurl.com/3swes  you explain
that "What I get in my newsreader is a mock post with fake headers and no
body, except for the first parts of the Subject and From headers."

Since your headers indicate that you use slrn and, as far as anyone knows,
the stock slrn doesn't work that way, is this interesting patch to slrn
available for download anywhere?

13) You regularly post alleged logs of your procmail recipe autodeleting a
bunch of irrelevant mail that you've received.  Why, and who exactly do you
believe is interested in your mail logs?

14) How exactly do you "enforce" an "order" to stay out of your mailbox,
supposedly (http://tinyurl.com/cs8jt )?  Since you issue this "order" about
every week, or so, apparently nobody wants to follow it.  What are you going
to do about it?

15) What's with your fascination with shit? (also http://tinyurl.com/cs8jt ,
and http://tinyurl.com/qv296;  or http://makeashorterlink.com/?A2343263D  and
http://makeashorterlink.com/?G2242163D  ) ?

16) You complain about some arch-nemesis of yours always posting forged
messages in your name.  Can you come up with even a single URL, as an example
of what you're talking about?

17) You always complain about some mythical spammers that pretend to be
spamfighters (http://tinyurl.com/br4td ).  Who exactly are those people, and
can you post a copy of a spam that you supposedly received from them, that
proves that they're really spammers, and not spamfighters?

18) Why exactly does it matter which specific name one uses for posting to

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